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How Having a Daughter Has Prepared Me for the Zombie Apocalypse

Nov 27, 2013 10:13AM, Published by Ryan Frisch, Categories: In Print



People with kids will tell you that children change you – they make you a better person. They inspire you to work harder, go further with your career, to be more patient, to be more kind and caring to others, to want more out of life. I don’t think any of that happened to me when I became a mother. However, having a daughter has prepared me for the zombie apocalypse.

I didn’t realize it until the other day when I was watching “Dooms Day Preppers” – the National Geographic Show that follows preppers as they prepare for catastrophic events that will change their lives to the extreme. They had a lady who was preparing for the ozone to collapse. Yes. You read that correctly. The ozone layer … collapsing … because that’s survivable. The other man was preparing for an economic collapse – and that’s when it hit me … I’m a prepper.

Without realizing it, my diaper bag is my bug-out bag. I have creams, bags, rags, medicine, clothing, hair brush, wipes, extra formula, and about a thousand other things that can be used to survive in the wilderness in one bag that is always ready to go.

I have built a supply of canned goods and boxed foods because I have no time between work and chores to cook an organic, gluten free, cruelty-free dinner. I’ve learned to eat in under 5 minutes.

My planning and organizing skills have become expert level. I have a plan, then a backup plan, then a backup of the backup plan, then an “if all else fails” plan.  

I’ve learned to survive without money or a social life.

I can raid Walmart in less than 20 minutes and get enough supplies to last two weeks.

I’m skilled at speed walking while carrying heavy objects (baby, bug-out – I mean diaper bag, groceries, etc.).

I have good upper-body strength (see previous).

I can go for days on minimal-to-zero sleep.

So bring it, zombie apocalypse – I’m armed with a 5-month-old – you got nothing.

Written By: Selina Lane



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